It’s been so long since I have had a proper lucid dream. Having lucid dreams can have very varied consequences. Sometimes they keep you tingling with the warm feeling of experiencing something that you always fantasized about or something which you could never have experienced in real life. Whereas sometimes they can show you your deepest fears, desires, things you deny when conscious. I am not sure in which category to place the dream I had the other night. The dream is set in the city of Mumbai, in the colony where all the officers and their families lived who worked for the company my dad worked with. I’m just as old as I am now, all life in the settlement was going as it would everyday. Walking back from wherever I studied to back home, in the evening, I see a something out of place. Like how you would know if something has changed in your room which has been the exact same for the past many years. On the bench in the park which was in the way home, there was a girl (Now cut me some slack, it was a dream and staph rolling your eyes thinking “it’s always a girl”. :p ). She didn’t look like your typical neighborhood girl. She had short hair, a book in hand ( I strained a lot to look, dunno If I couldn’t see it or I don’t remember), a pair of earphones jammed into her ears, wearing a denim jacket and a light colored jeans. This is the point I guess from which I had a level of control over the dream. I just went home that day and kept praying that reading a book on the bench was a habit and not something she just tried a day. Well mah dream mah choice bitch. There she was the next day, in the same attire as the day before ( Dream re sheesh staph judging). I just went and settled myself next to her and as anyone may expect it was awkward but after a few minutes we were well into deep discussions about how India should respond to the Sino-India border dispute with China. She liked progressive mixes and a few exact tracks I liked which weren’t much popular among the general masses. We kept speaking for a long time. I lost track of time till I realized it was too dark and decided that I should go home or mom would worry. It then struck me I didn’t know anything about this spectacular person that I met. Her name was Arya. My heart always skips a beat whenever the word touches my ear. Her father just got recently transferred here and her mom had passed when she was very young. We exchange numbers and decide to catch up next day. This keeps going on for a long time and I realize that I’m hopelessly in love (keep in mind all this is dream k?). Things I distinctly remember about her were her short hair, high cheekbones, she was tall (not taller than me tho), such confident demeanor, ability to keep the conversation on without boring the other person or getting bored, someone who perfectly understood things from my point of view. We were opening up an abandoned HM Ambassador when I was pretty much rudely woken up by mom at about mid afternoon shouting at me to stop drooling all over the pillow (IKR ). I guess I would never forget the face. A part of me wishes that somewhere in the world such a person exists and even though I know that in all probability there wouldn’t be one but then you can’t blame one for hoping. All day I keep wondering if that’s how I’d like someone to share my life with it and I keep resolving myself that anyone different may just not cut it. Here is where conflict engulfs my mind. I do like someone and she is like totally different from Arya. How can this happen? When your heart yearns for something and it maybe settles for something else or just that it yearns for two different things?
I’ll probably someday open up about this other person in real life who I (think) love/like so much.
See that’s what I meant, sometimes dreams show you things you didn’t want to acknowledge.
Is it morally/ethically correct to love two hypothetical versions of people who are fundamentally different. How does this stuff even work. Prolly I should just STFU and do something worthwhile than whine about this stuff. But you know taking stuff off your mind can miraculously help in concentrating on other stuff.
Thanks to the non-existent/hypothetical reader. XD
Well I’m done. Go back to whatever you were doing before.
I’ve always been bad at introductions. I guess the lines ‘Work until you don’t have to introduce yourselves’ has been too deep-rooted in my mind, not that I work too much. I’m just as a lazy ass as any normal teenager will ever be. As soon as I created this blog, WordPress wanted me to start with a post that would be introductory. I’ll never understand the world’s obsession with introductions. Why can’t one just appreciate a random person or make small talk with a random stranger? I’ve found out from experience that people I’ve met on the internet are more understanding, funny~witty, smart than the ones in real life. Not that my own friends or acquaintance are lacking in something, just that the people online make me more comfortable to speak to, in fact I open up more than anyone else to a particular person I came into contact on the internet. I call her ‘Prat’. She’s like the older sister I never had. I’ve had so much on my mind which I wanted to get off of it from a long time, just that I wanted to do it anonymously and I do like mindless writing. I guess this blog will provide me that chance. I want this to be more like an open journal where I can share stuff, you know, as I said get stuff off my mind/heart. believe me that stuff is a lot. After the idea of starting a blog was solid enough I had to think of a name. I wanted it to be something unique, something new, something catchy. Prat pointed out that when I jumbled the letters of my name I get Kradish but I was more inclined towards radish and lo here is your IrkRadish.
Prolly all I can say about why I wanted to start a blog and yeah WordPress, here is your Intro. :p
Hope to keep coming up with new stuff regularly.